Are your daily affirmations actually working for you? (Here’s what to try if they aren’t!)

What is an affirmation?

Here’s what the internet says: a daily affirmation is a statement that helps to reframe our thoughts in order to create a positive mindset. Or, as I like to phrase it, a statement that is used to annihilate or browbeat a self-limiting belief into something less crappy. Right? Because it’s common knowledge amongst the metaphysical and spiritual community that our physical reality is nothing more than a sum total of the beliefs we hold.

You see, “seeing is believing”. We’ve all heard that expression before, haven’t we? And often, it’s this well meaning mantra, that often trips us up before we’ve even started. Because in actual fact, it’s the opposite way around. The belief you are wanting to install, needs to be accepted by the mind first, then through the RAS (reticular activating system) your subconscious mind will start to gather evidence to prove you right and create the foundation of that belief. So, simply put:

Believing is Seeing.

(Write that down and memorise it. It’ll help you when your ‘egoic mind’ will have you think otherwise. And it will, because that's what's a programmed to do.)

If you can percieve it, you can recieve it!

So now that we have that cleared up, let’s dive in.

If you’re anything like me, you ‘see’ the world in words. Images are hazy and distant and you have a voice that constantly annotes reality on your behalf. I am never free of words. It’s how I process the world around me.

Some people visualise their world into existence. I speak it so.

Related: Does Everyone Have Inner Monologue?

So what has this got to do with daily affirmations, you ask? Well, I’m sure you’ve tried a ton of those, ‘off the shelf’ ones with a grim determination to radically change your life, but for some reason they just don’t seem to work. Am I on the right track?

So, here’s the problem with daily affirmations - saying a phrase, written by someone else, just doesn’t cut it, does it.? They just simmer on the surface of your consciousness, doing nothing. Then after months of repetition, your brain dries up and your eyeballs roll into the back of your head and you give up saying, “affirmations don’t work!” Well, I hear you. I felt the same until I discovered a different approach after years of trial and error. It's worth a go, right?

And the funny thing is, it’s so easy to do.

Let’s take this affirmation as an example, it seems to be a popular one:

“I am a money magnet. No matter what I do, it continues to pour into my life.”

On the surface it sounds okay? Right? Well, not quite. Let me ask you this…

…What exactly does ‘money magnet mean’? Have you ever referred to yourself as a ‘magnet’ in any shape or form? Does your mind really use this language, phrase or terminology? For me the answer is no, and I’d hazard a guess, it’s a no for you too. Language matters, folks; your language, because that’s the only language your mind will internalise, and respond to. Never forget, words are energy and they cast spells, your spells!

Your daily affirmation needs to be YOU at its very core; to feel so familiar and natural that the mind and body become perfectly aligned to the point the conscious mind open up the gates and, plop! The new belief drops into the subconscious mind. It’s all about mind and body coherence you see. Get your mind on board, and the body follows. (Joe Dispenza does some great videos on this, if you want to understand more, go check him out.)

But what do you do if the new belief sounds unfamiliar to you? How do you make it believable, when it feels unbelievable? Well, here’s what I do - and to date, I’ve had great success with it.

You anchor the new daily affirmation (belief) to a familiar phrase.

Something you use in your everyday conversation

(either to yourself or to others).

Let’s use our example from above:

“…No matter what I do, it continues to pour into my life.”

I would never say that, but I would say: “It really doesn’t matter what I do or say…”

And because that phrase is so familiar to my mind, it’s more inclined to accept what I say next.

Or at least, listen. And once the mind is listening, it’s getting impressed.

So, the new daily affirmation goes something like this…

“It really doesn’t matter what I do or say…money still pours into my life every day.”

Important point here, the affirmation only has to make sense to you. Only you need to understand its meaning.

Another favourite of mine is to make my affirmation sound like I’m answering a question (again using a common phrase). For instance, “….oh, I know. It really doesn’t matter what I say or do; money still pours into my life everyday.”

Adding in the words, ‘I know”, is also another powerful technique because you are telling your mind, with absolute certainty, the words you are saying are true and there's a good chance your mind will accept the affirmation quicker.

Okay, so this sounds simple, and it is, but sometimes you may hear a small voice say, “hang on, the second part to that statement seems a little bit different, somehow…resist, resist, resist…”

And it would be right, because the energetic vibration of the new phrase is well, new. But, the more you keep saying it, along with the phrase that is familiar, the quicker the conscious mind will drop its resistance.

So, I guess, the last thing to understand is ‘how do I know when the affirmation (belief) has worked? Good question. If you want to know if something has become integrated into your energetic being - just feel into the first part of the statement, and then the second part - you’ll ‘feel’ the difference. Once both parts of the ‘affirmation’ feel the same, then the mind and body has accepted it as true. And once you have mind, body coherence, you are done!

And, that’s when the magic happens. Without any effort on your part, your inner language will change, followed by your behaviour, then lastly, without even trying, your physical environment will change. Everything becomes automatic.

On a side note: if you do get any pushback while affirming, just allow it to be there. Give the resistance a minute or two, then drop the affirmation in again. Be gentle, Changing your mindset is like slipping on a new pair of dress shoes. They pinch at first, but they soon become moulded to your feet. Remember, it’s up to you to decide what you will or won’t except in your life, and that includes what the 3D is dishing up while you’re cultivating a new mindset. Only claim what you want to be true for you.

The Universe is always saying YES to you.

Okay, so far so good - but how many times should you say your daily affirmation?

It really isn’t about the more times you say it, the quicker things will change. We’re looking for healthy, long term change. Some people swear by robotic affirming, but for me that approach just creates a wave a resistance that builds pretty quick and blocks any real change. My mind knows it, my body feels it. It’s about quality not quantity. Some people set focused time slots per day, some script, some just say it ad-hoc, there’s many techniques out there. But I like to recite my affirmation as I fall asleep and when I first wake up as my mind is in alpha state at these times and easy to impress. But feel it out and go with what works best for you. Only you know the answer.

BUT, and the only caveat here is: patience - new habits take time, the 21 days rule has been debunked. And don’t be fooled by the ‘manifest ANYTHING in 3 days’ bulls#it, neuroscience says differently. Listen to the experts - you can read more about habit building here: Related: 21 Days to Form a Habit?

I’d love to hear your experiences with affirmations. You can find me here or over on Pinterest if you fancy a chat! Good luck, you’ve got this! I’m rooting for you.

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